I am not this or that but all of it!

  The Who-man Earthling Conscousness cannot tell truth from falsity, Heaven from Hell, pleasure from pain, advances from retreats- without aid. Why? Because he is locked in a circle of his own thoughts. Become the watcher of your thoughts, see the same ones come round and round. They whisper ” this is what you are”. What’s the solution? Exchange your thoughts or mind for another. If there is any regret or Psychological pain whatsoever, then we may say that a glitch in the software or too many fragmented unproductive files exist. What would occur if a re-boot, with a newer faster version of software were installed? Change your thoughts, change everything. One might even pop up in Thialand as a Goat Whisperer or Botanist or anything one might imagine. In this respect we are only our thoughts- sure. Everything finally is only your thought about it and you are the sum total of your thoughts.

     I hear arguments about the number of dimensions that exist. Look right at it, every human lives in his own dimension, his version of reality. He builds this place until maturity then spends the rest of the time defending his construct. Have you seen those little crabs that build their nest on the Ocean floor? Ok, let’s move on, I’m not attempting to berate you, I’m including myself. I’m just swimming alongside of you following the current making observations of the Psychedelic experience we both are having- fantastic is it not.

     More than that, a reconstruction or metamorphosis can occur in this lifetime- reincarnation- ha, we are constantly doing it, each moment. Within the limits of our need to always define ourselves we continually re- make ourselves as we remember ourselves- from our own Karma memory. I say you can change that at any time. Within your own mind exist everyone you have ever met, how can it not. We ARE everyone we have ever met. Wow- look right at it! In that respect we are the creator of our world- this world. This is why Theatre- stage play, acting is so wounderous. All the world is a stage you see and we must play a part.

      Who would you like to be? A sailer of the Seven Seas perhaps. A Homocide Detective, a Samaria Warrior maybe, a Movie Producer or Artist or Philosopher. It’s just a part. We say “Im not sure I can play that part”. How could this be, we wrote the play. We are the casting director and the Hero of our own dream. To be or not to be is not a choice- here we all are!

Understand that whatever part you play is not ultimately you. Well who the hell am I then? Say: I am before time was. How’s that feel?  See that all of the characters on the stage with you are the same-  before time was.  

     So how does this occur? All that exist is latent potential. What arises from that is manifest expression. Totally free and unlimited. Ideas such as good and bad, right and wrong, pleasure and pain are only that- judgements. If there is any evil it would have to be you. Why? Because there is Nothing “out there”. An Avatar are you. It is all you and you are all it! A thought never leaves it’s source. 

“We are One appearing as many”

“As Quantum Mechanics has shown us- not only can the observer not remain separate from the observed- they are One”

    Who therefore would be “The Holy Spirit” but you at the end of time. Then also you are the Jesus character. This is your play, your death of the ego and your/my resurrection- if we so chose for it to be.

Have you seen enough?

All the World returns to the Poetry it never left.     -Al

Art, Science, Mind, Poetry, Music- but I cannot grasp it, I cannot eat it. Oh yes my Love, for it is All what I do for a living, it is the very sustenance of life, it is the Bread of life. The Liver is a great occupation.


    You and I have fought many battles together. We have been the Victor and the Conquered, the Flag Bearer and the King. We have blown our Trumpets as We charged with no fear knowing we travel but in dreams. How real they seem to be. I invite you my Mighty Warrior to join me in our return from the Journey without distance to the place we never left. We have tasted the fruit of the Earth, now let us drink the Wine of the Spirit. We danced under the stars and laughed and twirled, let’s continue on now. They all are waiting to celebrate our victorious return from nowhere to Home. 

     There now is a fork in the road, a decision to be made. If we go straight as we did before, we will come here again. No, we must go left or right. One can go away from home but surely he will not reach it. Have you seen enough?

I hear your voice on the wind

And I hear you call out my name

“Listen, my child,” you say to me

“I am the voice of your history

Be not afraid, come follow me

Answer my call, and I’ll set you free”

I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain

I am the voice of your hunger and pain

I am the voice that always is calling you

I am the voice, I will remain

I am the voice in the fields when the summer’s gone

The dance of the leaves when the autumn winds blow

Ne’er do I sleep thoughout all the cold winter long

I am the force that in springtime will grow

I am the voice of the past that will always be

Filled with my sorrow and blood in my fields

I am the voice of the future, bring me your peace

Bring me your peace, and my wounds, they will heal

I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain

I am the voice of your hunger and pain

I am the voice that always is calling you

I am the voice

I am the voice of the past that will always be

I am the voice of your hunger and pain

I am the voice of the future

I am the voice, I am the voice

I am the voice, I am the voice

– Celtic Woman

I Am calling you out of the world. It is death by astonishment.


You can only see your-SelffleS


The blind man with his cane, the homeless man digging through a dumpster, alcoholics sleeping in the ditch, the elderly and feeble, the abandoned, the prisoner incarcerated for a crime he did not commit, a child born into disease, the lover who has been cheated on, patients in mental institutions, the ones caring for these individuals. Here in the world the eternal come to die, the everything to be nothing, the all encompassing to be locked in a cell. Can the limitless be limited? 

 Stay with me here, this is not a depressing tale of sorrow, we have enough of                           that here, just a little contrast, then we will flip the switch.

Forgiveness and Love fall like raindrops from Heaven on a dry and dusty world                                 where thirsty and starving creatures come to die.”

The Play has been good
The Play has been good

6 Listen-perhaps you catch a hint of an ancient state not quite forgotten; dim, perhaps, and yet not altogether unfamiliar, like a song whose name is long forgotten; and the circumstances in which you heard completely unremembered. Not the whole song has stayed with you, but just a little wisp of melody, attached not to a person or a place or anything particular. But you remember, from just this little part, how lovely was the song, how wonderful the setting where you heard it, and how you loved those who were there and listened with you.

7 The notes are nothing. Yet you have kept them with you, not for themselves, but as a soft reminder of what would make you weep if you remembered how dear it was to you. You could remember, yet you are afraid, believing you would lose the world you learned since then. And yet you know that nothing in the world you learned is half so dear as this. Listen, and see if you remember an ancient song you knew so long ago and held more dear than any melody you taught yourself to cherish since.

8 Beyond the body, beyond the sun and stars, past everything you see and yet somehow familiar, is an arc of golden light that stretches as you look into a great and shining circle. And all the circle fills with light before your eyes. The edges of the circle disappear, and what is in it is no longer contained at all. The light expands and covers everything, extending to infinity forever shining and with no break or limit anywhere. Within it everything is joined in perfect continuity. Nor is it possible to imagine that anything could be outside, for there is nowhere that this light is not.   -ACIM


     These are two pictures, two different worlds and both are in your mind for you can only see yourself. If your thoughts are with the first you will see a hateful fearful world. If your thoughts are in line with the second you will see a great and shining circle where all the world is fresh and new, a new Heaven and a new Earth. It is a choice, your choice. We have all built our own concept of what the world represents. Now we spend our time defending that position. Wars are fought and illusionary battles are won and seemingly lost. You cannot lose but you will not recognize this until you try and lose. To be or not to be. 

You and I have fought many battles together . We have been the Victor and the Conquered, the Flag Bearer, and the King. We blew our Trumpets as we charged with no fear into battle. We travel but in dreams my Love. How real they seem to be. I invite you home my courageous Brother. There is a fork in the road now, we have been here before. There is only one road leading home and going in the opposite direction will not lead there. Here a decision must be made. If we go straight, the way we went before, we will be here again.Butch

     The question is simple, have you seen enough. I Am the Christian, the Hindu, the Muslim and the Jew. The Beggar, The giver, the imprisoned and the Free. Which parts have you played? I am a builder and an interpreter now. I have built a ladder which we can climb out of the Double Helix. Are you coming?

The journey back to Zero – Everything

A: Let’s go to the other side.

Q: The other side of what?

A: instead of looking from this side of time toward eternity, we are going to start in Eternity and look to here where we think we are now. So imagine in your mind that you exist before time and are about to be rocketed into a Worm Hole that will spit you out into this dimension. Only this time you will maintain and bring with you the memory of being before time. So Kaboom- down the Worm Hole you go. The next thing you experience is getting slapped on the ass while someone holds you upside down. Here we all are now. As you open your eyes and get comfortable with these perceptual stimulus inputs, learn to walk and so forth, there is a irregularity that the Parents notice. You don’t say “I hungry” or “mine”. Later in life when asked how old you are you say ” I am before time was”. When asked your name you say ” call me Energy”. This child never allows the world or himself to build a self- concept. 

I ask this question: could this child suffer? 

Q: could this child experience pleasure?

A: what else would this child be in but a state of Eternal bliss.

Q: why does a baby cry?

A: I suppose to exercise its lungs and grow strong as well as being in some physical discomfort with gas or rash but that’s physical and not Psychological. And above all because it finds itself in a prison of a body which is nothing but a limit as seen from the perspective of total freedom in Nirvana. 

I Hungry, she took my toy, I don’t want to go to bed/school. I can’t do that, she has one and I don’t. Without the sense of I there could be no suffering is my point. 

Q: but I already constructed a me, so what now?

A: Deconstruction back to the Everything that you are before you squashed yourself into a body or a limited framework. 

As we and most children grow up everything is based and built on the I. We might ask a question of another and get a response and then the defense begins. We say “Well I agree with you but”. It’s all based on the past construction of “I”. Think  about thinking with no discretion, not from the “I”. If there is no “I” then there could not be anything whatsoever to defend against or fear. Look at all the chaos in the world where every seeming entity is trying to substantiate thier position. They say ” I am real, I have an opinion, I will not stand for this, I will kill you for what I believe”.  The whole idea that we are all separate is the problem. There is a chicken, it’s separate from me, I think I’ll eat it. These people don’t agree with us- let’s nuke em. They have oil we do not, let’s take it. 

Q: well don’t we all need things?

A: yes but look at the excess, how much does one person need. Time becomes a consideration now. The make believe mind made self says: I might run out- there exist scarcity in the world, I have to get mine before I die. If one of us could die then all of us would die, there is no death, so there is no scarcity. The Human bases his entire reality on ultimately terminating due to the construction of the concept of time. We can’t say what God is or what truth is because we are that. We are the love. A Book cannot read its own pages, a mind cannot study itself. It’s a dog chasing it’s tail. Can we use the mind to overcome the mind? If one looks for long enough he will come to the conclusion that this entire Multi-verse is made up of thought constructs. One possibility I like is the construction of a paradigm whereby I build a construct to walk right out of this dimension into MY own paradise. This might not be a novel idea but it is to my mind. I suppose  the whole time machine idea comes from this, but in mine the mind is the machine. If it is true that as within so without then by the fact that we see wormholes in space they must exist in our mind. Can we travel through time by the ability to utilize these internal devices. The Kingdom of Heaven is within. 

If I disappear then you will know where I am. Until then here is a method- be a Methodist for a day.

In short: judge nothing and it is ALL Beautiful. Make a decision now, not to decide. Beyond that, be the watcher of your thoughts. Watch all of the thoughts arise, the parade is always going on, the River is always flowing. Now take one more giant step back and observe the observer. Watch yourself watching your thoughts. Who is the one to which the thoughts arise?

I was out in the nighttime Forest dancing,

It occurred to me that this is what I do for a living. 

Dancing is the food of life. 

Living is a state of mind. 

One paints, sings, plays his music

Give the Spirit the gift of belief,

He will use it to manifest Himself in the givers mind.

Nothing I see means anything

 This is Big Al Will- I Am broadcasting in High Definition on the Spirit Broadcast Network which is everywhere you want to be. 

May the Love, Light and Wisdom of the Divine shine forth Now!

In the declaration of; teach on the basis of what you want to learn because what you teach is teaching you- here we go.

There is a proven method of contacting the one true Power Source of all there is, ever was and ever will be. May you find it Now!

A Course in Miracles

In the first lesson of this particular Spiritual Text (can be found in many) it says:

Nothing I see means anything.The reason this is so is that I see nothing, and nothing has no meaning. It is necessary that I recognize this, that I may learn to see. What I think I see now is taking the place of vision. I must let it go by realizing it has no meaning, so that vision may take its place.

   To the initiated this may or may not make any sense whatsoever. Why? Who in thier right mind would believe that what they have taught themselves through thier entire life is meaningless. I say we are not “in” our right mind. This is the point of the lesson. 

Q: what does it mean?

A: From one approach it means that the things we see have no meaning in and of themselves. We must give them meaning and I have given everything I see all the meaning it has for me (second lesson). It’s important to understand this.

Q:why is that important?

A: in order to change our minds about what we see, to see it with the Quantum field we must come to this simple realization.

Q: Why would I want to do that?

A: At some point we all come to the conclusion or ask the question; is this all there is. Or we wonder ” is there more”. What happened to my childhood Joy. In the building of our own Universes, we had a bad teacher “ourselves”. But there exist within our own minds a solution, a better teacher who knows what will make us happy. 

Q:Who is it that’s in there?

A:  nothing that can be said can describe her. There’s a reason for this. Anything that can be described the mind will formulate a picture of and start ascribing attributes to ” it”. I like to think of “it” as me at the end of time or the Quantum Field of Universal intelligence. 

Q: Where is “it”?

A: That would be an attribute. Not within the space/ time continuum as we perceive it. And in contrast to that statement “everywhere” , everything is connected and at the same time ultimately illusory. In this dimension connected and within the Oneness of Ultimate Reality non- existent. 

Q: How do I contact it?

A: Very good question. There is a light in you the world cannot perceive, call it Buddha Nature, Spirit, Spark of Divinity, true Self, Atman within, endless names have been given and will continue to be applied. 

Q: Why so many names?

A: Because we are discussing the traits of the one true reality that has been recognized by all civilizations from the beginning of Man. Totally and utterly beautiful beyond definition, the source of all of mans true happiness.

Q: Does this have anything to do with the planets and stuff?

A: Once you have stood outside of the Cosmos and and are shown the transientness of it all, certianly one may see that his life here is the same. But you are before time was, so the planets nor anything in space/time can effect you.

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.              Buddha

You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger. The man being whipped is the man doing the whipping.           – unknown

The in examined life is not worth living.    —-Socrates

All else can wait; finding out why you exist cannot.          – Vedanta

Do you want to know the ending, find the beginning for there lies the end.    – Jesus


Q: why did you just throw a lot of quotes at me?

A:  To make you think.

Q: Am I not always thinking?

A: Think about what you are thinking about and remember when you are in the past or future your mind is blank.

Q: huh

A: the most one can say about the past is that it is gone, the future but imagined. Most of the time you think about the past and future, your mind is blank. Eternity is a moment in time that last forever. Sequencing time is the currency of the ego. By doing so one misses now and covers it over.

There are Universal laws in existence that cannot be seen but exist. One may align himself and experience the joy that he came here to receive. Once the question is asked, ” why am I here, what is the meaning in this”, he begins his journey to ultimate freedom. These universal laws become clear in his mind and he need only bend himself to them. Rigid are the laws but flexible is he. Non attachment to any outcome he sways with the tips of the flame of the fire, he becomes the dancer and finally the dance. The dance is always right here, right now. One cannot dance before or later. Life ” is” always the essence of the dance and never the form. It cannot be found in another time and space if not now. One cannot run toward it hoping to find it in the future. Joy exist within the laws of the essence of now. Within the fire dancers heart as he performs and together with the entertained creates this joy of life. As the performer gives himself and the court feels that energy, combined with thier own- this is the essence of the dance of life.

   As long as one is locked into his own surface life circumstances and identifies with them, life is covered over with a veil of thought form. Complete each task as the dance and dancer with no attachment to outcome. One is not the means to the end or causation. The message and the messenger are one. 

 Our opinion about anything is wrong by default. Why? Because we have no nuteral thought. There is no right or wrong only our opinion about it and that is always false. There are three-Hundred and sixty degree marks on a Compass and infinitely more ticks between those. The only thing that appears to exist are different approaches to a subject. Just different ways of looking at thought form. Things are only thoughts projected out. An opinion about a thought form is what subjective reality is. It really is a thought about a thought. We project thoughts outside of us then we defend ourselves against them. It’s comical. We defend ourselves against our own thoughts and who are we defending but a mind made self. So nothing is defending itself against nothing. Once more, everything we see with the body’s eyes is completely nuteral, it just is. The thing we see,  we must give or assign meaning to. Even our own bodies are completely nuteral. Without stress or abuse by us. They merely follow directions. Tell the body to walk down this road or that one and it obeys. We tell it as we grow up things such as ” this is what Hot feels like”, if you feel this let me know. It merely sends us signals we have taught it. It’s only out thought about the body that gives it meaning for us. Thing like ” I hate you body” are decided by us. And who are “we” but a self construction. We damn sure are not the body, so who are we, consciousness. No – pure being, consciousness arises after being, perception with the body’s senses are not needed in total Oneness or Nirvana. So we are a self constructed self (nothing) having an non nuteral opinion about a nuteral thing. See.

Q: So what if any is the solution? 

A: Enlightenment is the end of suffering.               -Buddha

Q: what does that mean?

A: Freedom is the freedom of concepts or thoughts about anything. Things just are, they don’t need our opinion to be what they are. In fact, if we withdraw our opinion about them they will tell us what they are. As well if you stop telling yourself what you are or withdraw the need to define yourself you will come to know what you are, which is no “thing”. I like this, don’t like that, all personal preferences, I’m not good at that, I can do this. Stop it! Don’t build a mental construct about yourself for that equates to suffering.

Q: What happens after that?

A: When we stop trying to define and categorize everything we will find Peace. What springs from Peace is joy and Love goes hand in hand as a companion with these. 

Also we must all come to see that by categorizing our brothers we are really saying we are not worthy. Looking at a brother and deciding he is deficit is just the same as looking at our thoughts and saying not good enough. 

In summary: 

Never defend yourself

Be Love Now

Just Who in the Hell do you think you are?

Who are You?
Who are You?

Q: Alex what is the meaning of life?

A: The Ultimate meaning is to know yourself. The Greeks had a saying “Sarte Nueron” which meant just that.

Q: How do I come to know myself?

A: One simply must ask. Seek and he shall find, knock and the door shall be opened. Find a spiritual text you like and inquire.

Q: Are there other ways?

A: Yes as Ramana Maharshi and Nasargadatta put it, just sit quietly and hone in on “I”. What am I? Am I this body, am I these thoughts, am I the sum of my memories and experiences here on this planet. Ask what was my face before I was born.

Q: What will I discover?

A: I have discovered that before this life, I am. Before this world, I am. Before the Universe, I am. I am: not this body, these thoughts, feelings, or anything one can name or imagine.

Q: What will happen next?

A: I have discovered freedom of the false mind made self. Freedom of attachment to thought. Thoughts are like big hooks, if they get a bite they will drag you out to see. Watch them pass by like clouds. Look here goes one now. I am in the world but I do not let it tell me my identity.

Q: Who does the world try to tell you you are?

A: Well who do you think YOU are?

Q: Well my name is Fred and I’m male , my parents live in Katmandoo and they raised me. I am married and am a brick mason….

A: Well the world has taught you poorly. I applaud your hard work and marriage, these can be great gifts. What I am saying is before, behind and underneath all these things you are pure being, perfect and unchangeable. Get in touch with that. As you do these other earthly things, let that pure being lead the way. Hold the Torch of your pure being out in front at all times as you run the tracks of life- just like the Olympic Torch Bearer. See what happens then.

Q:What will happen?

A: This is not a Science, it is an art.  Attack your mind as an Alchemist and boil all thoughts that do not serve away. Life will become a great joy, all fear will fade. What is life with fear but fearful. One cannot see two worlds at the same time. He sees a hateful vengeful world or a perfect Garden of Eden to play out this temporary and transient short life that is only one page in a Great series of Novels.


Q: Is that my purpose?

A: Yes your purpose is to be happy. Once held, it is realized that nothing can take it from you. Love has no opposite, if your not feeling it then fear is blocking your awareness of love, peace and joy. If you have fear then you are identifying with an imaginative phantom, fearful thoughts have made their home in you. Eviction is in order. This is accomplished by watching your thoughts. Find all of the ones that do not make you happy, trace them back to thier source and pull them up like a weed and cast them into the fire.


Q: How is this done?

A: What are your fearful of?

Q: I am fearful of not having a good life.

A: This I find common and at one time I had this similar fear. So let’s look at how a “good life” could be defined. I know a woman in prison right now who text me every day about the joy she has found through here introspection due to her time incarcerated. I know another woman who has beauty and lives freely in the work but is always miserable. What is the difference? Happiness is not circumstance dependent. There will always be storms on the surface of life. They do not define you. You are changeless, unchangable. Your happiness will never be found in the world, it must come from within. The kingdom of Heaven is within- Jesus said.

Q: How do I find it within?

A: Most fear comes from the underlying belief in death or time. Time = death. No matter what you do here you will apparently get old, get sick and get die. No, no, no, your are before this world, you cannot die therefore time is a man made illusion.

Q: This body will die

A: Yes this body will die but it is not you. The only possible way to live is Now. You can’t live yesterday nor tomorrow, you must undergo your awakening into eternity NOW. It’s the only time you can do it. This involves a changing of your thought system. The software has a few Trojan Horses that are wreaking havoc. Let’s shut down the Hard Drive and load a new faster updated version of Creative Mind. The old fearful software is slow and outdated and does not serve. Change your thoughts, change your now life.

Q: But I am not a computer

A: You are more like a computer than you imagine while you identify with the body and brain. Every decision you will ever make will stem from what you think you are! Believe that you are a body laid upon a dying world and sorrow will befall you, if not now eventually. Know that you are all power of the Universe and nothing can block your way to Happiness. You are the dreamer of this dream. Sit and focus on the “Who am I”. Am I this fearful thought, this body, these emotions, these memories, these life situations that come and go. What are you?

Q: Thanks Big Al